In my renewed attempt to not be such a fat fuck, I went for a run this morning. By run, I mean that I alternated between minute-long spurts of half-hearted jogging and carrying my sorry ass along as fast as my stumpy legs could manage whilst swinging my arms in a humiliating attempt at "power" walking. Obviously.
I am so embarrassingly out of shape. There were senior citizens out there, and they were KICKING MY ASS. And being chipper-as-can-be, each of them smiling and greeting me as I tried to avoid eye contact, hoping they wouldn't notice the sweating, panting hot mess of a girl blundering past them. Oh, I'm sorry, I'm just trying to decide if the burning sensation in my chest is my lungs threatening to retire or the beginnings of a heart attack, but yeah, GOOOOOD MORNINGGGG.
Fuck off, old people. Stop rubbing your vim and vigor in my face at 7 am.
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I was hoping for a new blog, and here it is--funny as ever. One thing you need to remember... All those Q-tips out there walking briskly with their walking poles at the crack of dawn have been retired for YEARS and have nothing but energy to burn, because they stopped contributing to society 15+ years ago. Very un-like your hectic life as a barista. They SHOULD be out there all chipper and chirpy--they're trying to cram in as much living between 4h30 am and 7 pm as they can!
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