I went to the aquarium the other day. What an absolute hell hole. $30 to walk around in a dank, half-underground cave, looking at ugly little fish, whose faces reminded me of that disapproving look my father used to get upon reading my high school report cards. I had to suppress the urge to explain to the fish that I don't need school anyway, because I'm going to be an actress and damn them all for what they think of me.
To top it off, the place was absolutely teeming with small children. I could hardly turn around without nearly knocking over some drooling brat or two. I understand that the aquarium is typically a family destination, but being 6 doesn't mean you automatically get first dibs on everything fun. Or that you can run around shrieking about mermaids and everyone will find you precious. Children really need to be trained like dogs: keep them on a leash until they can comport themselves in a well-behaved manner.
That would, of course, be presuming that the parents of said spawn had any modicum of consideration for their fellow fish fanciers. Obviously, not the case. If they weren't shoving past me and my camera to press their bouncing babies up against the glass while cooing "look at the fishies, look at the fishies" -- what else is it going to look at, lady, you have it's face laminated against the tank-- it was only because they were too busy ploughing through the crowds with their armored strollers (complete with cow-catchers) to get to the next sea creature before anyone else. I think one woman expected me to climb in next to the octopus in order to get the hell out of her way.
On the other hand, SEA OTTERS!
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