why are you so obsessed with me, winter?

I woke up to a message from Winter this morning.

"HAY GURL HAYYY.

I heard you've been feeling pretty good lately. Going to work without a coat; drinking iced coffees again; shopping for cute summer dresses and wondering if those strappy gladiator sandals are actually so last year, or if you can get away with them this year because you never found a pair you really loved but you still want to try the trend. Forgot all about your old friend, Winter, didn't ya?

GOTCHA, MOTHAFUCKA!!!"

WINTER. YOU ARE A FUCKING WHORE.

I, for one, will say what no one else will: NOBODY LIKES YOU. You are the girl that gets way too drunk at every party. You're amusing for a little while, and then you become more and more obnoxious and totally overstay your welcome. Well, guess what? Everyone is sick of your snowy antics and you need to just GTFO. Besides, we all know you're only an older, less attractive version of Autumn. Everybody says so.

Basically, what I'm trying to say is that you and I? We're fucking done. Professionally.

And man the fuck up, Spring. Winter's sneaking in here on your watch, being all miserable and cold, and you just let it happen? That's bullshit, dude. Bullshit.